The Showing Up and the Doing

Photo Diary: Q1 reflections on making for the sake of making

I often find my personal photography practice lives in waves: there’s months in a row I’ve got myself overbooked and shooting all the time, and other times I don’t even want to look at a camera.

At the beginning of this year, I was feeling the urge to create again, having not touched a camera since the end of September. Okay, I did touch a camera—I shot a roll of black and white film at my twin’s wedding in December. Okay, and a secret project I can’t share anything about yet. And my iPhone photography practice never slows down. Details! By the time January rolled around, I was itching to get back into the studio.

I work full-time as an in-house retoucher, and our high volume season in the fall had left me feeling pretty burnt out. I knew I needed to get back to creating, despite still feeling pretty worn out, uninspired, and unmotivated, so the goal began like a morning stretch: wake up the muscles, gain a little confidence back, have fun.

I’ve been in-house at various companies as a photographer for the past six-ish years, often riding a rollercoaster of ambiguous lines between personal, professional, creative, craft, duty, desire, and artistry. I spent a lot of the last year healing from personal and professional life things, and for 2025, I set a goal to commit again to the joy I’d originally found in photography.

I guess it’s been a goal in photography and in life: a commitment to seeking the joy in everything. These first few shoots of the year are a testament to that commitment—starting off the year with no-pressure, collaborative sessions.

I didn’t want to lose sight of my intention throughout Q1. I didn’t want any past experiences or doubts to hinder the play, but to work more like a guide rope I could grab onto if I needed. Anytime I had a negative thought or became too critical of myself or my work, I had to pause and remind myself: it’s for fun. Keep exploring. The goal isn’t the result—it’s the process.

It’s coming back to my idea of fun: the no-pressure, hang-out session simply to make. It’s about the showing up and the doing. Sometimes the result, but always the journey.

Q1 crescendoed into March, Month of Photography here in Denver. From friends’ gallery shows to a photo swap and all the new people I’ve met in between, the month was the best kind of hectic. I’m honored to have had my piece For a Moment shown at Curtis Center for the Arts for the month: In the Urban Landscape, a show juried by Tom Finke and Jim Sidinger. I also took a film development class at a local film lab, fulfilling a longtime dream (more on that later), and continued to juggle my day-job workload—in March alone, our small but mighty retouching team processed nearly 12,500 master files, generating upwards of 50,000+ variants across the quarter.

It’s been busy to say the least! End of Q1 came and went: I went into hermit-mode and haven’t touched a camera for the last month, until this past Friday! Okay, I did photograph a friend’s concert a week ago, but I took a quick break from the studio most of April. Now May’s nearly here and—? Madness. What is time?

Anywho, see you in the next send.

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